Are you stressed about work? I am.
Are you feeling misplaced? I am.
Are you wondering if you are where you are supposed to be? I am.
Everyone has a time in their life where they are going through the learning process and maybe not picking it up as fast as everyone else thinks you should. Does that mean you quit and try something else or persevere? I often wonder about this question. How do you know when move on?
This bring me to the stressed about work topic. You see I accidently got into the field I am in, I know how do you ACCIDENTLY go into a job, well I applied for one job and ended up stuck somewhere else. That’s how. Well I loved the job aspect. So when I moved on from that job I figured I would apply for something similar since I now had experience. Fast forward almost 8 months here I am liking this job yes it has its challenges but I really didn’t think I was doing that poorly until I had my review. Boy was I wrong. At least that’s how I perceived it. ‘that I am not moving fast enough to complete tasks but yet I’m moving to fast that I am making mistakes.’ Where do I go with that? Slow down and take my time, I can do that.
Then comes the thoughts that maybe this isn’t the job for me? Why am I having such a hard time picking up such a simple job? Well my memory for one. I have dealt with severe depression and anxiety the majority of my life, they say that has effects on your memory. Something about to much of a chemical when you are stressed leads to memory loss. I want to cut and run and go do something I know how to do. I feel so out of place… Do I give in or keep trying? The answer is always to keep trying. My favorite quote of all time says it best! “You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward.“- Rocky. There has to be some sort of hope that I can catch on. I just feel so inadequate, but I have to keep trying if not then what was all of this for?
I do feel like this is where I am supposed to be. Even if I am not comfortable with it. Ask me after a year, if I still feel the same way about it… if I make it that long. ha. I am determined to get a handle on this job I just don’t understand why I am having such a hard time with it.
Check in with you guys later!
Anxiously Anonymous 